For Anyone Who Hates Duke Men's Basketball as much as I Do
1 Comments Published by Jason on Friday, January 26, 2007 at 1/26/2007 09:05:00 AM.
On the ESPN message boards this morning, I came across the following parody of Dick Vitale praising Duke's victory last night against Clemson--a win that was replete with some apparent home-cooking for the Blue Devils. Thanks to lloydjack (his ESPN user name) for a good laugh:
Hey hoops fans, D1ckie V here with some thoughts on tonight's unbelievable action! It was another classic finish at Cameron Indoor Stadium. Ah, how many does that make it? There have been so many nail biter finishes that Maalox should invest in a courtside advertisement, right there between those classy State Farm and Verizon boards!
But getting back to the game, I was so impressed by the play on both sides. Clemson's players really showed a lot of heart, especially the kid - whatever his name is - who hit that trifecta to tie it with seconds to play. I was sure we were heading to OT city, but, once again, the Dukies surprised us.
And it all started with, guess who, Coach Michael Krzyzewski. Did you notice what he did? Right after McRoberts delivered that perfect bounce pass to the Clemson player, and right after that three hit nothing but nylon, he had the presence of mind to walk to the scorer's table and tell them how much time to add to the clock. He stated his case like the professional that he is, and, presto - chango, the old stadium clock was right back to 4.4. That's what you call situational awareness, baby! It's taking clock management to the next level! And the really amazing thing was how this proved to be exactly how much time the Dukies needed for their winning shot! I mean, it was right down to the tenth of a second! What prescience, what precision, what presence of mind! He's the three P man, baby! That's what you call basketball IQ, my friends! The man is a flat-out genius, a true legend of the game! Ah, why can't I be more like Coach K? It's just not fair baby!
And what an incredible finish it was! The whole sequence brought back memories of that 1972 Olympics gold medal game! You know, where Team USA thought we had it in the bag? That is until the officials realized the Ruskies deserved additional time on the clock. Then it was heartbreak hotel, just like it was for the Tigers tonight! Both games just show the great competitive spirit that is the hallmark of basketball!
Now I know a lot of people are complaining that too much time was put back on the clock. And, sure, it might have taken longer than .6 seconds for a player to catch a pass, set, square up, release the shot, and have the rock travel twenty feet through the air in an upward arc. But I?m here to tell you, it is a moot point, baby! Why? Because officials are human beings, and they make mistakes. It's all part of the game, my friends. And, really, was that decision any worse than the missed goal-tend when the game hero, Mr. McClure, swiped a Clemson shot off the rack? Of course not! Was it any worse than the multiple missed push-offs by Mr. Paulus? No way!
Yes, my friends, the human element is part of what makes this game so great. It's second only to passion. And speaking of which, did you see the way the Dukies celebrated with such class and composure after that game winner? Did you notice what a classy human mass they assembled there on the court? Did you see how high Coach K jumped with his artificial hip? Did you see his fist pumping? That's what you call a passion to win, my friends. I only hope those Virginia Tech players watched this game so that they will know how to celebrate with class in the future.
Ah, is there any reason why I love this game so?!!
Hey hoops fans, D1ckie V here with some thoughts on tonight's unbelievable action! It was another classic finish at Cameron Indoor Stadium. Ah, how many does that make it? There have been so many nail biter finishes that Maalox should invest in a courtside advertisement, right there between those classy State Farm and Verizon boards!
But getting back to the game, I was so impressed by the play on both sides. Clemson's players really showed a lot of heart, especially the kid - whatever his name is - who hit that trifecta to tie it with seconds to play. I was sure we were heading to OT city, but, once again, the Dukies surprised us.
And it all started with, guess who, Coach Michael Krzyzewski. Did you notice what he did? Right after McRoberts delivered that perfect bounce pass to the Clemson player, and right after that three hit nothing but nylon, he had the presence of mind to walk to the scorer's table and tell them how much time to add to the clock. He stated his case like the professional that he is, and, presto - chango, the old stadium clock was right back to 4.4. That's what you call situational awareness, baby! It's taking clock management to the next level! And the really amazing thing was how this proved to be exactly how much time the Dukies needed for their winning shot! I mean, it was right down to the tenth of a second! What prescience, what precision, what presence of mind! He's the three P man, baby! That's what you call basketball IQ, my friends! The man is a flat-out genius, a true legend of the game! Ah, why can't I be more like Coach K? It's just not fair baby!
And what an incredible finish it was! The whole sequence brought back memories of that 1972 Olympics gold medal game! You know, where Team USA thought we had it in the bag? That is until the officials realized the Ruskies deserved additional time on the clock. Then it was heartbreak hotel, just like it was for the Tigers tonight! Both games just show the great competitive spirit that is the hallmark of basketball!
Now I know a lot of people are complaining that too much time was put back on the clock. And, sure, it might have taken longer than .6 seconds for a player to catch a pass, set, square up, release the shot, and have the rock travel twenty feet through the air in an upward arc. But I?m here to tell you, it is a moot point, baby! Why? Because officials are human beings, and they make mistakes. It's all part of the game, my friends. And, really, was that decision any worse than the missed goal-tend when the game hero, Mr. McClure, swiped a Clemson shot off the rack? Of course not! Was it any worse than the multiple missed push-offs by Mr. Paulus? No way!
Yes, my friends, the human element is part of what makes this game so great. It's second only to passion. And speaking of which, did you see the way the Dukies celebrated with such class and composure after that game winner? Did you notice what a classy human mass they assembled there on the court? Did you see how high Coach K jumped with his artificial hip? Did you see his fist pumping? That's what you call a passion to win, my friends. I only hope those Virginia Tech players watched this game so that they will know how to celebrate with class in the future.
Ah, is there any reason why I love this game so?!!
I hate them as well.....as you know.
BTW our Terps sucked last night. Sorry.