Here's a look at some of the Grammy winners:
Record of the Year
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - Green Day
Is the song catchy? Yes. Does it have some mildly intelligent lyrics? Yes. Can Oasis' "Wonderwall" be sung over top the song? Yes. Can the lead-in to the last chorus--"I walk a, I walk a"--be mistaken for Fozzie Bear's "Wocka, w0cka"? Yes.
Album of the Year
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - U2
The album is not really innovative for its genre (see Kanye West's album) or for U2 (for U2 innovation see Achtung Baby and the experimental but inconsistent Zooropa and Pop). Nonetheless, the album shows a band who has mastered its craft over the past two and half decades and will likely be significant for years to come. Although the album is quintessential U2, the band provides variety musically and thematically from the pounding "Vertigo," to the plaintive "Yahweh."
Song of the Year
"Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own" - U2
It's a powerful, elegaic tune that some fans place on par with "One," which may be a bit of a stretch, but it's still a fantastic song.
Best New Artist
He has the talent and the surname to have a lasting impact, but the fates of past winners of the award suggest that in no time he'll live out his remaining days on a desert island with other Best New Artists. (In an upcoming episode of Lost, the crash survivors will encounter a small, dilapidated encampment inhabited by Christopher Cross, Marc Cohn, Paula Cole, and the members of Arrested Development.)
Best Female Vocal Pop Performance
"Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson
Well, at least this song doesn't sound like a cheerleading routine.
Best Male Vocal Pop Performance
"From the Bottom of My Heart" - Stevie Wonder
While Stevie Wonder is a musical genius with one of the most melifluous voices ever, I give you the following quote from High Fidelity:
"Rob, top 5 musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the 80's and 90's. Go."
This award seems like the Grammys meeting their requisite "leave the viewers scratching their heads in dismay and asking questions like 'That guy still makes music?'" choice.
Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal
"This Love" - Maroon 5
Didn't this song come out over a year and a half ago?! Did they re-release it just to spite me?
After hearing it somewhere around 10,000 times, this song made my "Songs That My Life Will Be Better If I Never Hear Them Again" list, which also includes "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" and every song released by Three Doors Down. The list should not be confused with my "Songs That May One Day Force Me to Take a Screwdriver to My Eardrums" list. That list is headed by, of course, "My Heart Will Go On."
Best Alternative Music Album
Get Behind Me, Satan - The White Stripes
The Whites Stripes remind me of the gadets I see on infomercials at 2 a.m.--innovative, clever, well-crafted, and novel but rarely of any real use to me. I would've been happier with Arcade Fire or Deathcab for Cutie.
Best Hard Rock Performance
"B.Y.O.B." - System of a Down
If the award was "Cacophonous Song Most Akin to the Sound of Cows Mating in Hell," then yes, by all means, choose System of a Down.